The timepiece of fate: the Rolex debacle and Gov. Bob McDonnell’s rapid political downturn

If Gov. Bob McDonnell were ever to run for political office again, his campaign slogan could reasonably be, “I plead the fis-zith!” (in the words of one Dave Chappelle Show). But the likelihood that Bob McDonnell will ever run for political office again has been greatly reduced by the continuing avalanche of stories, accounts, and revelations regarding the governor’s gift-taking relationship with the legally embattled CEO of Star Scientific.

The latest story to come swirling out of the growing McDonnell I-O-U factory is regarding the $6,500 Rolex watch that the Virginia governor reportedly received from Jonnie Williams, CEO of Star Scientific. To top off the icing for the Democratic Party of Virginia, McDonnell declined to comment about this latest report on his monthly radio chat on Richmond’s WRVA radio.

McDonnell stated during his radio show, "What I would say to everybody is that I wish that I could say more about this, but given the reviews that are being done, that's probably all I can say at this point." We wish you could too, ‘Bob’, but since you would most likely fall into a spiral of falsehoods and half-truths, it’s probably best that you let your lawyers do the talking for you. Whoops, there goes my objectivity.

McDonnell did, however, mount a spirited defense, a defense I’d like to call “I have no idea what goes on in the life of my adult children.” Talking about his 32-year-old daughter, McDonnell said, "I don't have much of an idea about what she gets for Christmas or her birthday, so I think that would be (a) tough ... duty to impose on any officeholder to know what their adult children, for instance, are getting, but there might be some other appropriate limits for children who live in the house.” This man is brilliant, no wonder he was elected governor!

While Gov. McDonnell may not know what his oldest daughter gets for Christmas, he certainly remembers her stint in the U.S. Army and her tour in Iraq when he’s stumping and attempting to tie himself to “Service, honor, and hard work [and a faulty memory]”.

At the very least my fellow Virginians, let it not be said that Bob McDonnell could be bought for anything less in timepiece quality than a Rolex. There is nothing worse than a dirty politician than a dirty politician without a fashion sense or expensive taste. Oh, I joke the governor!